Chicano Poet

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

I Love Lucy

El ocho patas
was scampering

with Lucy
the Hominid

in the Afar Triangle
when they were attacked

by a saber-toothed mole
no pendejo

not Mexican mole
el ocho patas

ran fast as hell
with his abundant feet

of course of course
but La Lucy

was not as fortunate
having succumbed to evolution

and
the rest

as they say
is history


Friday, May 22, 2015

Letterman

Gregorio Sanchez was like any other poor barrio kid. Except that he was born with eight feet. 
And of course the other barrio cabrĂ³nes called him El Ocho Patas.

El ocho patas
was a guest

on the final
David Letterman Show

he was doing the
Stupid Pet Tricks segment

but his
pet chupacabra

peed on
the shiny floor

and bit
Letterman on the ass

el ocho patas thought
I'll never

be invited back...
oh, wait a minute

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Pimp My Ride

They pimped
el ocho's ride

because his
cucaracha

no quieria caminar
they painted

his carucha
brown

and as he cruised
through town

el ocho
hit the gas

his ocho patas
all over

gas pedal
and clutch

el cabrĂ³n never used
the brakes

the radio
blaring

a rock and roll
ranchera

in the great
afuera


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

In Waco With The Bandidos

In Waco
with the Bandidos

el otro patas
was swinging his machetes

slicing the cachetes
of the Cossacks

and Sarah Palin
could still see Russia

from her porch
as the Waco cops

pulled their shaky
sixshooters

having just had lunch
at Hooters

the biker gangs
went at it

as el ocho patas
made his getaway

hightailed it
to the taco place

and hid his face
behind an Enchilada Plate

while the cops and bikers
dueled at the Breasturant

until everyone
was happy

Monday, May 18, 2015

Green Eggs And Ham

I would not quote
James Wright or son

I would not say
which one was better

only that James
was fatter

and that his son
was madder

one talked
to horses

the other
to horses' asses

one needed glasses
and the other

drank enough of them
I would not quote

James Wright
or son

they spoke their piece
and now they're gone

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Saint Ocho

El ocho patas
fought cockroaches

as other
brave pendejos

fought fire-breathing
dragons

a hearty breakfast
of pan queques

and off he goes
to battle

the armies
of the night

and none too soon
el ocho patas aims to make

his people proud
in spite of themselves


Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Cinco de Mayo

El ocho patas
had a twin

who lived
in Seguin

they never
saw each other

him and
his brother

each had
odd opinions

of how the world
should be

but neither
came to pass

and the world
kept getting worse

the Siamese twins
lived on in separate towns

once joined at the mind
and the behind

el ocho patas
tore himself away